Academic pressure, parental orders, influencers, advertisements… Young people are constantly exposed to an environment that calls for perfection, and they suffer from perfectionism. This feeling of never getting there, never feeling good enough, and never feeling like you belong, is measured using a test: the Multidimensional Scale of Perfectionism.
In recent decades, researchers have observed a rise in the rate of perfectionism among students, with a sharp rise between 2006 and 2022. Thomas Curran, a researcher at the London School of Economics and Political Science, who led the study, analyzes the increase in perfectionism among students. One type of perfectionism in particular: that which society labels leads you to believe that others expect you to be perfect.
Compiled by The New York Times Expert advice to escape that humiliating feeling that can undermine you.
Take some distance and be happy with that
To start, distance yourself from your soft voice. The person who, for example, tortures you in the middle of the night. Zoom out, and pitch yourself to the next day, or even, in three months, when that presentation you stammered over this morning will no longer matter. This process of divergence constitutesFirst line of defense“, explains Ethan Kross, a professor of psychology at the University of Michigan.
Another way to practice distancing is to avoid using person-first language. When you think about something that bothers you, instead of saying:I can't believe I made this mistake»; Take a new perspective by thinking instead: “You made a mistake. Yes, you feel bad now, but you won't feel bad forever. This mistake happened to many people before youIn his research, Dr. Cross found that using pronouns other than “I” allows for more constructive and positive internal dialogue.
Perfectionism can then make it seem as if nothing exists at all “it's OKHowever, accepting that what we have produced is… “Adequate” It is the key to getting out of perfectionism, according to Dr. Curran. On the other hand, it requires letting go and, above all, not sacrificing moments of pleasure and joy of living: “No, you won't be working this weekend!“.
Finally, congratulate yourself. If there's another solution to overcoming perfectionism, it's self-compassion. Start by being kind and forgiving with yourself: Don't beat yourself up for being a perfectionist. This is a survival strategy above all else, Dr. Sun explains. Accept your weaknesses and your strengths, and welcome yourself as you are, today and tomorrow.